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To my Oldest son and friend, Vaughn Adams III 8/9/14
Tomorrow is the day when we all say goodbye to this earthly body. As I lay in bed consumed with sadness and unable to sleep, I contemplate what I can only call a miracle from God. When God decided to allow me the privilege of becoming a Mother, my heart capacity was expanded to love and nurture all of the children I would be blessed with. And the miracle is that God also divided my heart into five sections. While much of what I did as a Mother would involved all my children, each special section would become that place where my heart was prepared just for that child—this was the miracle.
In this special section I was free to love you individually and differently for exactly how God made YOU. In this place I was given a sense of direction in guiding you through your childhood years. It allowed me to ponder your questions and concerns and to the best of my ability, guide you along the path designed for you. Not all of these trails would be without rocks or bumps but we found the path that always got us through.
Your place in my heart is also where I stored and treasured all of your firsts. Your first smile, step and first word. Your first lost tooth, skinned knee, which I got to kiss to make it better, and your first day of school. As you grew each new memory made me even prouder of who you were becoming.
As you were growing into the person you were to become, I could recognize and nurture the special traits that you had been given. The most obvious that I could see was your gentle nature, compassion and your ability look outside yourself. What wonderful traits I thought and then I soon realized that these were not just personality traits but actual gifts of the spirit as shared in Galations 5:22. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”
Your special heart space treasured all of your attempts, disappointments, joys and successes. It also has stored all of the missed opportunities. Right now I want to hug you once more--very tightly. I want to call just to say I love you as you did so many times to me. I want to tell you once more how proud I am of you, the good man that you are, and the joy that you have given me for all these years.
Mothers are prepared for many things, but letting go of a child is not one of them. I love the memories I have stored and I treasure them, but Vaughn, you have left a very big hole in my heart in that place reserved just for YOU. I know that you are in the arms of God and are truly free at last. I picture you on a beautiful bike, laughing as you are cycling with joy. As I say goodbye, I look forward to hugging you again on the other side. I loved having you as my son. All my love, Mom
Tomorrow is the day when we all say goodbye to this earthly body. As I lay in bed consumed with sadness and unable to sleep, I contemplate what I can only call a miracle from God. When God decided to allow me the privilege of becoming a Mother, my heart capacity was expanded to love and nurture all of the children I would be blessed with. And the miracle is that God also divided my heart into five sections. While much of what I did as a Mother would involved all my children, each special section would become that place where my heart was prepared just for that child—this was the miracle.
In this special section I was free to love you individually and differently for exactly how God made YOU. In this place I was given a sense of direction in guiding you through your childhood years. It allowed me to ponder your questions and concerns and to the best of my ability, guide you along the path designed for you. Not all of these trails would be without rocks or bumps but we found the path that always got us through.
Your place in my heart is also where I stored and treasured all of your firsts. Your first smile, step and first word. Your first lost tooth, skinned knee, which I got to kiss to make it better, and your first day of school. As you grew each new memory made me even prouder of who you were becoming.
As you were growing into the person you were to become, I could recognize and nurture the special traits that you had been given. The most obvious that I could see was your gentle nature, compassion and your ability look outside yourself. What wonderful traits I thought and then I soon realized that these were not just personality traits but actual gifts of the spirit as shared in Galations 5:22. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”
Your special heart space treasured all of your attempts, disappointments, joys and successes. It also has stored all of the missed opportunities. Right now I want to hug you once more--very tightly. I want to call just to say I love you as you did so many times to me. I want to tell you once more how proud I am of you, the good man that you are, and the joy that you have given me for all these years.
Mothers are prepared for many things, but letting go of a child is not one of them. I love the memories I have stored and I treasure them, but Vaughn, you have left a very big hole in my heart in that place reserved just for YOU. I know that you are in the arms of God and are truly free at last. I picture you on a beautiful bike, laughing as you are cycling with joy. As I say goodbye, I look forward to hugging you again on the other side. I loved having you as my son. All my love, Mom